Although I was hit before by my mom for having a huge fight with my sister, I never developed any fear or trauma. But after that, I always put my pride and anger away to resolve any misunderstandings with my sister and apparently even every one else. I don't really know why or how, but I have developed this attitude of "think and cool down before you meltdown" since then.

So anyway, base on my experience, as long as the "smack" is reasonable (and not that deadly harsh) and it will be remembered to promote positive decisions...I guess it is okay when the time and place is right.

I don't agree with spanking at all, ever. I think for some chicken it might be effective (as long as the "smack" is reasonable as stated by cidoxyde), but for most children it will leave emotional, if not physical, trauma.

There are much more effective discipline methods than spanking anyway, and none of them involve hitting.

Hitting your child for punishment is absolutely unnecessary.

My nephew is 11 years old, almost 12. He's never been spanked or even smacked on the hand. We always used time-outs for him, and yes, he did stay in them and seemed to learn a lesson from them. He's the sweetest kid I've ever met. His behavior is outstanding. He's never even gotten trouble in school. You can teach a child to do right without physically punishing them. I see nothing wrong with a tap to get their attention when they're ignoring you, but if you hit them hard enough to hurt them or hit them TO hurt them, you're disgusting.


Honestly, the earliest memory I can clearly remember of my mom is her beating me up at my friend's house because she was waiting for me outside in the car and I took too long to get out there. I'm 18. This is when I was 12. I have a bad memory, but I know she started hitting me when I was around 5 up until I was 13 or 14. At that point, I stood up for myself and she stopped.
One of the only memories I have of my dad is him pushing me back into a chair (by pushing my shoulders down, nothing "violent" or painful really) and telling me to stop stomping around angrily because we were on the second floor of his apartment, after me doing it for like 5 minutes straight and ignoring him telling me to stop.
He never hit me, ever, but I still have that memory etched into my mind. Is what he did unnecessary? Well, no. It wasn't done in a violent manner. It was more the shock of my parent physically forcing me to sit down like that. Being angry didn't help.


No matter how strongly you hit/smack/etc., if you even use slight physical force on them, there's a chance they'll remember that forever. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't want my child's first memory of me to be me spanking them or flat-out hitting them for doing what children do.

In my family it's acceptable to hit a child only in the case where the undesirable action of the child would result in greater physical pain. We have been smacked (only hard enough to make the point sink in) for behaviours such as repeatedly wandering out into roads without thought, attempting to touch hot pans, etc. The smack would be administered to the part of the body which was about to be harmed, where appropriate. (E.g. back of leg or hand.) I found that in cases where me and my sibling failed to respond to the necessary advice about avoiding harm, in retrospect we both respect the parent in question more for having taken that action. It happened about once each, between the ages of three and six, so not gratuitously or often. In the case of relating an action with a pain reaction it's a psychologically supported method - as long as it's a situation where the child has, over a period of time, failed to understand the very real repercussions of their careless behaviour. We were explained to why we should not do those things, and the parent apologised for the pain and then went over the reasoning again. No one in our family agrees with any kind of smacking where appropriate warning and reasoning is not given to back it up, nor do we condone frequent physical punishment, methods involving any delicate parts of the body such as the head or sexual parts, or smacking done by a figure who is not the trusted primary caregiver. Sorry if the reasoning here is long-winded; I think it has to be to properly discuss my stance on the matter. I believe that any kind of hitting should serve as a relevant warning about serious danger, and not a sudden power/anger reaction to unmemorable events.

The Reporter: Ma'ma What do you think about Spanking Children as form of Displine:

Mrs. Billard: Well, spanking kids for the sake of, in my humble opinion (is never the correct thing to do). However, I feel if a parent has exhausted all measures in getting said child's attention (such as), talking to them about their bad behavior, revoking privileges, taking a way much loved items for a period of time, OR grounded them…and all such things DO NOT render the desired outcome. Then and ONLY then do I feel it is necessary. However, with that stated, there is always an acceptation to the rule. Case in point, if a child does something that puts him/her in immediate danger THEN a spanking is very much so warranted! In short, as some other say, (Whoop DAT ASS)! Just joking about the latter (THE Last sentence), but serious about the aforementioned!

I'm a fairly new mother, my daughter is under the age of one, so the whole "right way to discipline" thing hasn't become my reality yet. But something that I've noticed that has bothered me about other friends of mine who are parents: Their kid hits a sibling or another child, so the parent hits them and says "Don't hit!" What kind of mindfuck, mixed message is that?

On a more personal note, I nearly lost both mine and my child's life during childbirth, so I'm not sure I could ever bring myself to spank or hit her after all of that. Maybe I'll change my mind when she's older and misbehaving...I don't know....but right now it just seems wrong to me. There are other ways to guide your child into behaving like a functioning member of society.

There are! While your daughter is still young, you have the opportunity to learn more about them. Parenting magazines can be very helpful for learning about ways to deal with various behaviors during the early years. Strategies change with each age/stage, so it's a good idea to be prepared for what comes next. Mindful parenting makes sense since everything you do and don't do communicates expectations and beliefs about what is acceptable/not acceptable. Keeping in mind the bigger goals can help you as you work with your younger child to learn to do things for herself and to learn to share, even with you. Without resorting to spanking, it's possible to raise a child who is independent, caring, compassionate, healthy, balanced, an involved and contributing citizen, respectful, and loving.

On a personal note, that must have been harrowing! I'm so glad that you and your daughter made it through!

...And it's possible to "resort to spanking" and raise kids who are also independent, caring, compassionate, balanced, etc. Because there's no one right way to raise kids, because kids are people and people are complicated.

Do what works to make your kid work. If you're not a dick, generally the things you do to keep your kid from being a dick, even if it's the occasional slap on the ass, will probably all work out. What you shouldn't do, on the other hand, is get locked into a "right way" to raise your kid that's obviously the wrong way. If your child is turning out to be an obnoxious twat, then you need to start doing something different. Sometimes that's a stern talking to, but at some point you might end up smacking their bottom and that's okay if it's what turns them from little terrors into functioning members of society.

We've all met people who were awesome people in spite of shit their parents did to them and because the shit their parents did for them. At some point though, if you've met enough people, you start to realize that some of those things cross over and if there were a single document for how kids worked that wasn't bullshit you'd end up missing important things for some kids by "following the rules." Kids aren't a recipe, they're human beings. Some human beings, believe it or not, blossom under all the caring, loving, etc stuff, and some... well there's a reason Basic Training in the military has a certain tone to it, right? If there's any real universal advise on child rearing, it's pay attention to your kid and give them what they need regardless of what you feel you need, or even what you're comfortable with sometime.

I believe that children learn from their parents' behavior, and if they learn that smacking/hitting or whatever you want to call it is alright, then they might continue it with their kids, or even think it's alright to hit other people. You know where violence starts? Right there. Of course, not all children who experience this kind of 'dicipline' grows up to be violent people, but for many it is a start.

I've grown up in a home where my parents meant that hitting/smacking us kids was unacceptable. The worst dicipline acts our parents ever carried out was showing disappointment and perhaps some heated words. They rarely gave way for bad behavior, so we learned that screaming our lungs out in a store didn't help. Sure, we tested our limits like all kids do, but the limits were wide enough for us to feel free and not too restricted, so there was no need to be rebellious for anything. And we turned out alright. We learned respect. We learned that violence was bad. We grew up to be decent people.

However, one side of the family seems to be of other opinions. A smack of the head, a smack on the hand (not hard, mind) - seems pretty much alright for dicipline. I've witnessed this once in a while, and even if it's not hard strikes or smacks, it's almost as if it hurts watching. The worst is that it is scary to jump in to try and stop it, because if a parent thinks it is acceptable to hit their own child, then what are they really capable of?

Violence is not allowed if an adult hits another adult. Why should it be accepted or even allowed for an adult to hit a child? Children can't defend themselves. They're at the mercy of their parents.

There are better ways of teaching a kid dicipline. If the kid has to be smacked or hit to understand he's doing something wrong, then obviously somone did something wrong in the upbringing of that child.The fault of an unruly child more often than not lies with the parents. Children need to learn respect, and they won't respect someone who hits them. They'll be afraid. Fear can be mistaken for respect, but the two are not the same. I would never come to respect someone who hits me, especially not if they were my parents. Lack of respect turns into bad behavior, which in turn makes the parent think the child needs more dicipline, and makes them think that smacking is the best way of dong it. If that's not a bad circle, then I don't know what is.

Talk with the kid. Teach them to think through their behavior. Respect the child, and realize that they're in the process of learning how society is working. Insead of smacking them over the fingers, tell them that 'this-and-this is bad behavior, and is not acceptable.' Teach them to say sorry. Teach them that people get sad or disappointed when they do bad things. But above all, teach them to do nice things. Praise them when they do something good. If they share their toys, smile and let them know it's a good thing. If they clean up after themselves, say thank you. If they say something nice, say thank you. Respect their wishes, and let them have their way once in a while, as long as it is a treat for being nice. If they behave like little angels in the store instead of terrors, they might just deserve that ice cream or lollipop they would otherwise scream their lungs out for (perhaps not every time, but you know what I mean). Children who are accepted and treated in such a way learn good behavior, and are much less likely to do bad things. Everyone likes to get praise, perhaps children most of all.

If someone treat me bad, I'm likely to make their life a living hell, but if they instead are nice to me and respect me, I'm much more likely to be nice to them and respect them.

:lovestruc this comment.

There is a section in my daughter's baby book for "The best parenting advice I've heard" and I've never known what to put there. This is it. You have to do what is right by your individual child and not get so caught up in the "textbook" way of raising a kid. Even siblings raised by the exact same parents in the exact same enviroment have different personalities and needs.

I apologize if this thread is dead, but I really REALLY had to put my opinion in on this.

I hate spanking. I view as child abuse. During Halloween, I was with a friend and her group of friend's trick or treating. We met up with one of the guy's parents and they took us to DQ afterwards. It was all fine and dandy until the mother complained about not being able to spank your kid in Wal-Mart. At that moment I could feel myself getting really tense. Then, she said it. She said something that made me run to the bathroom and stay there for about 5 minutes, crying my eyes out: "I can't smack 'em in Wally, but they'll get a sound beating in the car! I'll make them sore for weeks!"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Does that NOT sound like child abuse?! I was literally in tears before I even got to the bathroom.

Spanking has left bad memories in my mind, alongside the fact I was and still am physically, emotionally, and verbally abused by my dad. I was a great kid, very intelligent and mature for my age. I was a rule follower and very sweet. I never once hit another kid, nor did I act too crazy. I only threw one or two temper tantrums, and I'll tell you why in a second. I really was a sweet child, and I'm proud to admit it. My mom adored me and said that she never once had to discipline me. I learned things on my own and had a very keen sense of seeing the repercussions of my actions (I still do). The temper tantrum happened because some neighborhood bullies had stolen my bike (as in, broke into our garage to steal it) and I was blamed for it, despite putting EXACTLY WHERE MY PARENTS TOLD ME TO. My dad was yelling and screaming at me, calling me a bitch, a loser, etc.

Here's the thing: My dad thinks I was a brat as a kid. The reason why is because I would cry a lot. Yes, I was a happy kid, but I was also severely bullied and a very easy target. My dad saw my weaknesses and decided to hurt me for them. I once got slapped in the face and spanked with a belt because I didn't get a math problem correct. According to that logic, if a kid isn't 150% perfect, they are to be abused and hit. Yeah, totally.

And this was a normal thing, mind you. I got to see this spanking, smacking, and hitting for the littlest things. I suddenly have a seizure while eating dinner? He would whip me with a belt. If I got sick, he'd call me pathetic and a bunch of other names I can't use on this website. Every. Little. Thing.

It's left scars. Big scars. He will not be allowed near my children. Once I move out, I am cutting all contact with him. But back to the point.

Spanking is hitting, whether you like to admit it or not. You are telling that child that if they mess up, they deserve to be hit; that they are worthless and not worth respect. When I have children, my hands or any objects will never be used to touch them negatively. I will love them with all my heart and will not expect respect without giving it first. You have to earn your respect, you CANNOT demand it. If they get out of line, I'll talk to them in private until it's resolved. Public humiliation is just as bad and very damaging to their self esteem. Spanking equals hitting, and whoever hits their kid deserves to be hit right back. I do not respect parents who spank, even as a last resort.

And there is a proper way to raise your child. People only believe there is no correct way because of society. It's called being supportive, loving, patient, understanding, open minded, understanding a child's personality, being able to have fun, not bossy but not a pushover, not putting your expectations on them, and generally being a decent person.

I apologize if this was an emotional argument/reply, or if there wasn't much basis behind it aside from "this is what happened to me and I hate it, therefore it should be banned". I'm usually very literal and present only the facts and truth in my debates, but child abuse and parenting rub me the wrong way and bring up some very hurtful memories. I'm honestly crying right now...

Those who spank their kids teach them that it is alright to hit other people.

Imagine you have a kid, and the kid hits someone because he doesn't get his way, then you as a parent tell him that it's not alright to hit someone, and put put him over your knee to spank you (aka. HIT YOU!). Isn't that confusing for the kid? You're telling them it's alright to be spanked for hitting someone else. It's alright when you do it, but not when the kid does it. How is that going to teach the kid anything? No wonder these parents have troubles with "undiciplined" kids. Someone needs to watch Supernanny. It's perfectly possible to dicipline kids without hitting them. In most of the cases I've seen, the parents are the ones who need the dicipline, not the kids. They get help with routines and coordination in routines between them, plus lessons in how to communicate with their kids, and suddenly voila! Their kids are well-behaved again.

It really sounds to me that it's the parents who need dicipline. Bedtime routiens gone awry, letting kids decide what to eat (unhealthy food) because it's quick and it's "the only thing they can get the kid to eat", mommy and daddy having different routines,

Dicipline starts already when the kid is a baby. Clear bedtime routines, play-time, eat-time, those things. Give the kid choices, but within limits and with reasonable choices (as in "fish and carrots or meat and broccoli for dinner?"). A treat never hurt if the kid is well behaved (but thell them that "This is because you behaved well by doing so-and-so, so you don't confuse them, but don't treat misbehaving (aka. tantrum at Wallmart = lollipop). That only invites for future tries. Teach the kid to say "thank you" and show by example how to treat other people. Kids won't do it automatically. A little responsbility doesn't hurt, either. Let them help with dinner, or push the shopping cart, or give them chores they can manage at home. A responsible child is often a well behaved child. Good behavior needs to be learned. Kids learn both good and bad behavior from their parents, and the bad behavior sticks deep. If the parents behave well, the kids will follow. Love and respect are key items, and respect goes both ways.

I'm really, really sorry for those of you who were abused, but to equate abuse with a small rap on the hand of a two year old is really quite insulting to the parent. There is a huge gulf between beating a child with a belt (obnoxious to me) and a small smack with an open hand. Children do not act or react like adults, you cannot sit and reason with a toddler. Sure you will explain about the stove being hot, but like a moth to a light the toddler will be attracted back. Some parents will have success with firm words, although for some children firm words are enough to make them cry. Others will have luck with moving the toddler and distracting them. Most parents I know would do that first. If you are in a position where you could give the child a time out in a stroller or a cot then parents will use that too, although the child will scream blue murder and you will also get dirty looks from people rather than the support you should get. For some children time out works wonderfully but others won't blink an eye. Some children will need a rap on the hand after reaching for the oven door for the twentieth time and I would much rather smack that hand then let it touch the hot door. Some parents think letting the child discover for himself is for the best and they would let the child burn themselves. My father was a 'neglected/left to learn child' he put his foot into near boiling water when he was 2 and nearly drowned in a rock pool at age 6 while his brother was making cigarettes from butt ends at age 8. Smacking a child for hitting other children makes very little sense, but again before I judge another parent for that I would have to know has this been an ongoing problem, have they been working on this with no luck, are they extremely frustrated and need a break? Personally I would never smack my kids for hitting others as that is really a silly punishment. But until you have children you also have no idea how hard being a parent is or how deep the emotions run. You will never love someone as much as your own child but no one else will also make you as angry or as frustrated or as scared as your own child will. Realizing your 2 year old has escaped your yard while your heart pounds and you run around searching and calling as panic mounts is only a feeling your own child in possible danger can bring. Reason will be the last thing in your mind.

i really dont know what to say about this all i know is that people were brought up beating there children personal for me i haven been beaten badly for reason that dont need to be said but anyways i felt that it isnt right and never will be but you can never change how people treat there children really also thos i know that spank there children say thats there way of getting respect and i think thats really dumb i truthly thanks no your not getting respect your just putting fear in your childrens heart cauase they know if they do any thing wrong they will be hurt

That's an interesting, assertive declaration. Does this also allow that video games teach children to hijack cars and fire machineguns? When a parent drinks a beer, is he or she teaching and defining the child as an alcoholic? Do children who are not spanked never hit other people? Is there a particular style of spanking that informs children of particular forms of hitting other people? Say, if I pop a child on the butt for setting the house on fire, am I teaching her to punch other people in the mouth; but if I smack her on her hand is she being taught to stab them in the eyes?


Amazingly enough we preach this travesty throughout society! Imagine, what are police officers teaching society that they are allowed to subdue criminals with force and not the common man! Imagine what a utopia we would live in if everyone simply talked to people who were acting outside of social boundaries, say by robbing a bank or murdering blond women and eating them, and made them see the error of their ways! Brilliant! And furthermore, what's this about soldiers? Brutish thugs, every one... What sort of lesson are we teaching children when a strong military keeps other military forces from invading our countries... through force? Surely every social issue ever can be easily confirmed and corrected by communication in a passable and timely manner, because as everyone knows human beings, especially small children, are incredibly rational creatures without a shred of inherent violence within them. If only we'd abandon spanking to teach out children violence then all violence would likely be abandoned forever and ever as the source of our racial shame was corrected!


I agree. What those parents need is what social correction we as society can deliver. Since our foster care services are excellent and without criticism, we could easily remove children from this obscene and corrupting environment to their natural benefit in all cases. Even if it is the merest lightest of slaps it is likely that this assault is dangerous to the child's welfare. Of course we'd have to police the foster families similarly, with monitors in every household to assure that no abuse was occurring... perhaps it would be better to just remove children from the offending influence of parents whatsoever, and raise them in some sort of collective arrangement where a committee would see to their needs. For truly, there's no benefit to a child being raised by a parent if that parent is so pernicious as to raise a hand against that child ever for any reason whatsoever. Even parents who don't abuse their children thusly should be informed else they transgress as well, for we know that even an enthusiastic parent might abuse a child and ruin its very existence forever by lack of training and education. The best way to ensure a properly raised child is to ensure that each child, despite having fully developed morals or ethics, is explicitly empowered to imprison or remove themselves from their parents by accusation of abuse. A fearful parent is a good parent, and parents need to understand that they have no authority over children as children are absolutely equal to them and require the exact same sort of interactions with them as parents might make with adults. Whoever thinks that a three year old isn't the same sort of person as a forty year old must be mad, or more likely some sort of vicious child abuser.


And you're correct, no one was ever taught respect by spanking! Just look at those billions of people who only thought they loved and respected their parents throughout the past! If only they had your insight to know they didn't actually love and respect their parents, that those parents were abusing them! How could have every society on the planet have been so blind until this subject finally came up and you set us all straight?

People say that and yet, I see that they treat their kids differently. I don't believe they are even aware of how they do it. I offer this as an example of how it can happen: There have been studies to research how teachers will treat boys differently than girls, where they film and document the different treatment, yet when the teachers are interviewed they swear they are treating everyone the same. I see this all the time in families, not just with those of different genders, but also with those of different birth positions and with whoever the parent relates to the most or the least. I'm not denying that there are differences among children, but I am saying that people are not as equitable towards their own children as they claim.


@ Mistermook - That last post was over the top with sarcasm and felt like a personal attack on the poster. I didn't find it helpful at all.

The child (toddlers, at least) does not understand WHY the oven is dangerous if you don't explain it to them in a language they can understand. There are other ways to teach the child this. We have a couple of very curious young boys in our family, and the youngest (he's almost 3) is very interested in anything that has to do with cooking (especially hot things). We exlained to him several times that "this is very hot, and if you touch it, you'll get ouchies". Now he even repeats it back to us by pretending to touch it and retracing his hand. It took a few times, but he learned, without any smacks on the hand. If you use a language the kid can understand, it's much easier for them to realize what they can do and what they're not supposed to do.

Children pretty much only care about taking care of their own basic needs and playing. To them, everything is a game, and while they're below school age it's hard to differ play from seriousness. It's easier to hit someone and make them cry to get a toy than discussing why they want it. They won't properly understand sharing toys until a certain age, and cleaning up is a mommy-thing because it's more practical to have the toys on the floor than in the toy bin under the bed. The mind of a 2-year-old works different from the mind of a 10-year-old, and different again from a 30-year-old. Even being unruly is a game. "How far can I stretch this before mommy gets annoyed?" They stretch their limits to find the limits.

To those who feel it's alright to smack their kids - have you ever taken a good look in the child's eyes when you smack them? Can't you see the "Why do you do this to me?"
More often than not, the smack is not followed or preceded by an explanation as to why they're doing something wrong. It's just the smack, without the why of it.

Have you ever tried to explain - straight away - why they are doing something wrong? It does not help to tell them several minutes or hours later. Young children have a different time-span than adults. Their memory is shorter, and they don't relate things unless they happen in rapid succession. If you yell at a two-year-old for something he did an hour ago, he won't even understand why you're angry.

And I don't fully disagree with those people who mean that a smack once in a while makes the kid not respect them. But I do mean that the smacking does not help on the respect. These parents are usually capable of loving their child, so the cuddles and love sort of makes up for the smacking - for thie child, anyway. But I think you mistake fear for respect when it comes to smacking. The child won't respect you for the smack, but be afraid of the next time. It's the wrong way to go about.

So I'm going to stand by my reasoning. You've got to understand the child and the mind of a child to properly dicipline them. And smacking them is not needed for that.

Bad behavior is often either lack of knowledge (they are curious and/or don't know it's a bad thing) or a way to get attention. If they get your attention, then that is sort of a praise for doing something bad, because they were after the 'get attention' bit.

When I get children, I'm going to praise them for doing good things, so much that they start doing it automatically (When I was younger, I wasn't allowed to go from the table until I'd said thanks for the food, and while it was weird while I was a kid, I now I always do it, because I now know it's polite to do so, and people appreciate to be appreciated). And if the kid misbehaves, I'll clearly show them I'm disappointed (Using a cheerful, light tone when praising and a strict, darker voice when scolding often helps). Leading by example is a good thing. If I say "thank you" and is polite, then my kids will soak it up and do the same. It's mainly the parent's job to socialize the child. If you expect them to and show them how to behave in a good way, they're much more likely to do so. Showing appreciation for good things makes the child want to do good things instead of bad things. Who does not like to be appreciated?

I agree with a lot of your points, mostly, with some exceptions. I wanted to caution you on this one because I've seen this backfire. Praise has its place, but when applied overmuch and for every little thing, children start to see the praise as the reward and do not develop their own sense of satisfaction from doing things well. They will do the opposite of what you hope for, instead of their doing good things automatically, they may wait for praise before taking action. Or, what could be almost worse, they'll do good things because they're good people, but they'll always feel hurt if the good is not recognized. Praise is good, but needs to be given with some discrimination. It's important to help children develop a sense of self. When they are old enough to process the language, try asking them how they feel about what they did along with telling them how you feel about it.

I dont like being hit so i am sure a child woulnt like it eather. i was in a foster home and the lady who took care of me and my sister and the other three foster child got beatings not spankings we were beat with belts and switch,s we were beat with our clothes off. i have two child which are grown now and they can say i dint hit them at all so i dont like spanking children and i think it embaress them and makes them feel bad and sad. i know how i felt it takes somethang out of you. and it puts fear inside of you. the child will start to bwcome a fraid of the parent whos doing the hitting. and there love will soon turn to hate.and also when they become adults and have kids they will beat their kids. because they will think thats the way i was raised. time outs are a good punishment for younger children takeing away video games and cell phones. and grounded teens seem to work best.< PLEASE NO SPANKINGS>

I know about backfiring, and you're right. They should learn what is expected of them, though, and without telling them in a language they can understand, and without praise, they won't understand it. It's a part of socialization.

There's a balance, of course. Too much praise isn't always a good thing, but kids need a bit of praise. If they don't get a response at all, they won't really learn anything. You don't need to throw a party everytime the kid cleans his room, right? A smile or saying 'good job' or 'thank you' might be all that is needed. And if the kid has chores, such as taking out the trash, then a response the first times is good, but later it becomes something you expect of them, so you should let them know that this chore is their responsibility, and not something that needs to be praised every single time.

If the kid is reluctant to do chores, then perhaps a small treat if they do the chore so-and-so many times might help, such as choosing a favorite meal for the weekend, or having a family night doing something fun that they choose. That teaches them to work towards a goal, and that they can't have everything they want without working for it (as long as you don't bring in expensive treats, such as a new toy - that might backfire). Most kids are happy to help, though. If you let them help from they're toddlers and up, it's much easier later.

Spanking says more about the parent than the child, firstly why are you doing it? a) because you lost your temper - that's your fault for a lack of control which as a responsible adult you should know to leave the room if you are feeling yourself lose it or b) to "teach" them a lesson? what exactly are you teaching them? if you need to resort to hitting to make your point then that's you're fault not the child's, you can't hit an adult and you sure as hell shouldn't hit somebody that can't defend themselves. Parents should have more empathy, you've been a child once where as they have never been in your shoes, try to relate and get to the core of the problem, hitting children only inflicts fear and poor reasoning i,e not doing something for fear of being hit rather than because they shouldn't. As for dangerous situations, you wouldn't smack/hit a friend if they're about to do something stupid, you warn them and in the case of a child you remove them from harm, yes you can't reason with a toddler but guess what? that also means they don't quite understand why they're being hit, so until they are old until to understand the risk, you do this by making sure their environment is safe - stair gates and oven guards - you're the parent and you're in-charge of their safety and again the child shouldn't be punished if you've allowed them to be near dangerous things, toddlers shouldn't be playing near dangerous things! I'm a parent of a two year old so I'm not making assumptions.

So true, PinkLemonnade!

People who arnt disiplined as kids sometimes grow up to be brats. I was spanked on the bum till i was like 8. Now i get grounded. I think spanking should be legal or any other means of discipline. It tells the child that they shoundn't be doing that and they get a punishment.

My parents were spanked with a belt as kids (where i live that is still legal) and now they are very succsesful. My friends parents wernt and now they are just lazy potheads.

Like if an adult does a crime and he gets caught. If the cop sends him free, he is gong to continue to commit crime. But if he goes to jail, the man relizes this is what he gets for commiting crime, he doesnt like jail, so he might not commit crime again.

Proverbs 13:24 New King James Version
He who spares his rod hates his son. But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Proverbs 23:13-14 New King James Version
Do not withhold correction from a child. For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.

These two passages, not that I'm saying they can't be interpreted to non-violent discipline and correction by someone determined enough to see it that way, are lots to blame for 'spanking is good' in the US.